Four Things I Shared with Friends This Week plus Community Wins
Four Things I Shared with Friends This Week
When I come across something exciting, I feel compelled to share it with my friends. I’ve had a few of those items pop up recently and I wanted to share them with you here in the newsletter:
The Knowledge Project Podcast EP 202: Matthew Dicks: How to Tell a Story so That Everyone Listens
I listened to this 2-hour episode on storytelling twice and sent it to no fewer than 7 friends over the past two weeks.
I coincidentally purchased Matthew Dicks’ book Storyworthy recently and was excited when his name came up in my podcast feed.
Wow, was I blown away by this episode!
Simply put, learning to tell a better story teaches you to become a more effective communicator.
As Dicks describes, storytelling is a skill, not something innate, and we can all learn to be more effective communicators.
This clearly isn’t limited to regaling people with 15+ minute stories – it’s a holistic look at how you can be more interesting as you relay information in all aspects of your life.
Book: The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy
My friend Veronica shared 'The Gap and the Gain' with me and now I cannot stop thinking (and talking) about it.
It isn’t hyperbole to say that this is the most impactful book on my day-to-day life since I read ‘Die With Zero’ 3 years ago.
The entire concept is subtle and seems self-evident after you read it, but like most genius concepts, you realize you would not have had the mental framework without being introduced to it:
Gap: Most of us look at the gap between where we are now and absolute perfection. This leads to constant dissatisfaction and negativity.
Gain: If you choose to focus on the gain between where you started and where you are today, your focus will shift immediately towards positivity.
I know it sounds subtle, but try it out!
I’ve already used this to rewire my brain in multiple areas of my life in just the past few weeks including:
Fitness: I’ve been obsessing over the gap of not getting to my target weight (essentially perfection for my body) instead of the massive gain in strength and body composition I’ve seen over the past 20 months. Focusing on the gain has paradoxically emboldened me to do more and will likely lead to the results I wanted in the first place.
ChooseFI: As odd as it sounds, I’m often stuck in the gap of finding that one negative piece of feedback or lamenting that I could be doing or creating more instead of focusing on the incredible gain that is creating something that has had such a positive impact on the world.
I could go on with examples, but you get the picture! This reframe makes a massive difference.
‘BigDeal Podcast with Codie Sanchez’ episode with Vanessa Van Edwards: Non-Verbal Expert: Master the Secret Art of Charisma & Influence
When I was in Breckenridge recently on a retreat, my friend Stephen intentionally brought question prompts for us to discuss over dinner.
You never know how these will go over, but they led to hours of discussion on multiple evenings.
After listening to this episode with Vanessa Van Edwards (she has a TEDx Talk titled ‘You are contagious’ has nearly 5 million views), I looked up her “Three Levels of Connection” list of 15 questions and immediately shared them with Stephen.
If you’re looking to connect better with people in your life, I highly suggest looking at that list of 15 questions and try to incorporate them.
It is purposely split into 3 levels for different situations and levels of relationship.
I also transcribed this quote from Vanessa from the BigDeal podcast episode that I found quite interesting:
“I found this study and what these researchers did is they wanted to figure out what makes someone likable. So, he followed thousands of high school students across a variety of high schools and he categorized them based on popularity and then he looked at every variable he could think of: athleticism, GPA, humor, attractiveness, like everything he could think of.
There was one predictor (of popularity) across all the grades and all the high schools…They had the longest list of people that they liked.
Meaning that if you want to be likable all you have to do is go around aggressively liking people.
It totally reframed for me like all I need to do is stop worrying about being likable or being impressive or being funny or being whatever; actually, what I have to do is find ways to aggressively like the people that I'm with.
Asking better questions, searching for good, assuming good, expecting good and so what I would leave you with is if you want to be more likable you need to be hunting for good in others in every conversation in every email in every discussion it's like how can I like this person more.
That is such a better way to be internally but it's also like a beautiful way to be externally.”
- Vanessa Van Edwards on The BigDeal podcast with Codie Sanchez
Yoga Nidra Meditation(s)
If I’m looking for a recharge throughout the day, my go-to is a ‘Yoga Nidra’ meditation (or, as Dr. Andrew Huberman has rebranded them, a ‘Non-Sleep Deep Rest’ meditation).
I shared these with a friend this week (plus my younger daughter recently started using them as part of her bedtime routine) and depending on how much time you have, here are my 3 favorites from dozens I’ve tested:
23 minutes of ‘Deep Healing’ on Insight Timer app
60 minutes on YouTube (final ~30 minutes are music to help you drift off to sleep)
These are useful in place of a nap during the day (how I use them), or to help you get ready for a deeper sleep at night.
ChooseFI Community Taking Action This Week
I had a small win this week: I repaired a lawnmower for $10. Three years ago, the really nice Toro lawnmower we inherited from my in-laws died. The lawnmower tune-up guy we used said it was probably a frozen carburetor and wanted $300 to haul it off, fix it and bring it back.
Since that was about half the cost of a new lawnmower, I went out and got a new battery-powered lawnmower. Still, I couldn't bear to part with the old lawnmower, knowing what a good machine it was and there was a broken part that could be replaced. So, I let it sit in my garage for three years until I could find the time to learn how to repair it.
I finally got around to it last week. After watching a few YouTube videos, I was shocked to see how easy it was to replace a carburetor (I had imagined having to completely disassemble the engine). It was only two screws, four bolts and disconnecting/reconnecting a hose.
I ordered the new carburetor from Amazon ($10), installed it and the lawnmower roared back to life. Since the old lawnmower has more power and a better self-propelled feature, I will probably keep it and sell my "newer" lawnmower. If I had known the repair was going to be this easy, I would have done it years ago and never bought the other lawnmower.
- Paul
Due to Hurricane Debby, my 10th grade son had his first day of school for the year, then three virtual days. His teachers scrambled to come up with assignments, and his personal finance teacher (now a required class in SC, yay!) asked the kids what financial independence means to them and how one might achieve it.
I was so excited!! My son, who has autism and struggles to communicate, wasn't sure how to answer, and I had a great time telling him about financial independence! 
I had to sneak a peek at what he wrote. Here is what he wrote:
Financial independence to me means having options about what you can do. For example having a small amount of money like $10, means you don't have many options. Having an amount such as $5k means you have more options, but still not that many. While $50k gives you time in case you lose your job.
Achieving such an amount of money, however, is more complicated. Investing is a great way to gain passive income as investing in the stock market will yield exponential gains and investing earlier is better.
- Laurie
This week my wife and I had our twin girls. The journey was long and difficult, we couldn't have babies naturally so had to go through surrogacy. Then the girls were born early and are in the NICU.
Things however are ok and I don't feel particularly stressed because of this community and others like it we have a healthy savings rate and money to buffer the turbulence. I can focus on my girls being healthy and not stress about our finances. That is my 1% better.
- Miguel
I have been dragging my feet on starting the pest control spray services at my house after moving here. I finally realized I could buy the spray and do it myself instead of hassling with a company that doesn't make it easy to automate payments and is really expensive.
I purchased a big bottle of highly rated spray at Walmart for $16 that touts a 12 month coverage and I ended up using about half the bottle for interior and exterior.
Even if I spray every 3-6 months, the savings are still incredible! We will see if this works! Eliminate unwanted bugs, save money, and get a few walking steps around my house is a win win win!!
- Angelique
My 1% better this week was meeting with a headhunter who was recruiting for my competitor. It was good on 2 fronts, I dug into what their forecast is looking like and I could see what the market is paying for my position.
I went back to my leadership team with this info letting them know I am not looking but based on that I am underpaid and we will need to readjust my salary for the 1st of the year. I told them I understand that they are throwing big numbers out so I will accept a 2 year plan to equal out to that one and prove we can hit those numbers, they said they absolutely agree!
- Bill
My 1% better is using reverse image search to shop for a better deal. We just moved and wanted a patio set. The one I wanted was on sale, but was still more expensive than I was hoping.
It seemed like a pretty unique set, but on a whim I employed a hack I had read about but just hadn't used before. Big mistake - it is so quick and easy!! I simply took a screen shot of the set I wanted to buy, uploaded it to Google's reverse image search feature (a very quick search will show you all of the different ways you can do this), and found the exact set I wanted - available at a different retailer with free shipping, a better discount, and quicker delivery.
I will definitely be doing this with all larger item purchases from now on - this 30 second hack saved me 26%!
-Emily